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Improving Lyrics

   Discussion: Improving Lyrics
Gordondon son of Ethelred · 16 years, 11 months ago
Sometimes you hear a song and think "if one word was changed this song would be better. I have two examples that come right to mind.

The lyrics to Cadence Carroll's Evolve go:
As we revolve we will evolve to place of love.

From the first time I heard the song I thought it should go.

As we revolve we will evolve to a planet of love.

Planets revolve not places. I also think it scans better. If you don't know the song you can listen to it here: Evolve at CD

The other is in the Kenendys' song Stand

the real lyric is:

I searched for God, I found it in your eyes

I always thought it scanned better with
I've searched for God, I've found him in your eyes

It is perhaps sexist and less politically correct but it sounds better. The soft him fits better than the plosive "it."

I have heard the Kennedys sing it with "him" instead of "it."

Are there any songs that you've wanted to improve?
John J. Ryan Back · 16 years, 11 months ago

place vs. planet:

The place or planet isn't revolving, it's the person.  It's WE who revolve and evolve.  I like place better than planet because it can mean more things.  A place can be a state of mind, or a higher plane of existance.

it vs. him

Once again, I like the more vague word it than him.  As Billy Jonas sang, "God Is In", so God can be many different things.  If the Kennedys REALLY wanted to be more specific, they could have capitalized Him, denoting a religious connotation.

These are just opinions though, and I can't write lyrics worth crap, so who am I to make interpretive comments on them?

goovie is married! Back · 16 years, 11 months ago
re: place vs. planet: exactly.

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