the probability of moving.

Go for it. If you and Anni move to Ohio, we can start building our army and take over the world.

the question is: is it enough to move somwhere for someone? or is it a bad idea?

hmm....

It's a valid question. I think moving specifically for someone can be dangerous. BUT...there are plenty of good reasons for you to get the hell away from what haunts you where you are. So a move in and of itself is not just about a person, but about a situation that would likely be healthier for you. The person is just really serving the purpose of pinning down a destination.

Ellen had a lot of good points about doing it in a less risky way.

Oh. And Ohio rocks, see. It's where I was born. :)

Well said.� I agree with everything (except that I was born in California, but Ohio still rocks.)

the more I think about it the more I realize that I'm not really moving for someone. I need a change and moving away from maine would be a good change. I just needed something to kick start me in that direction and a new oportunity in ohio fits the bill.

wow....
I didn't realize it'd been that long either

*likes how wide your eyes get* :-)

Once you go geek, you never go back :-D

saved by the bell never lies.

it is my bible. :-D

Zilly!! I'm trying to plan for my move in the Ohio area around March.� If you are able to wait until around than we could be roomies!�
Don't think about it as moving there "for someone"� think about it as moving there for yourself.� I wish I'd have thought in that way on a lot of my moves,� then when things didn't work out with "someone",� it would feel less like I was in their territory.� Though...� it doesn't seem, from what I've viewed, that not working out is likely.� *hugs*

Where in Ohio are you moving to?

Not sure.. I'm still open to anywhere.

Well, I think the plan is most likely going to involve the north-western portion of the state. I'm getting sick of Columbus, and really miss that area. Depending on where there are jobs, I'd like to go back to Bowling Green, but Findlay and Toledo are both options. They're all fairly close together. About 40mins from one end to the other, each of those cities are almost exactly 20mins apart on I-75

Toledo
|
Bowling Green
|
Findlay

Bowling Green is the smallest of the three, and is pretty much a good-sized college town. Findlay is a bit bigger, but a bit of a longer drive from any big cities. Toledo is a full city, not as big as Columbus, Cinci, or Cleveland, but still big.

*sigh*
I really miss that area. I still can't place why though.

Well, I'm willing to move just about anywhere, as long as there's work.�

yeah I don't think its a matter of not working out. I just worry about doing things for the wrong reason. I think itd make me happy to live in ohio. and I'd love to be your roomie! I'm sure I wont be moving until atleast march. we should look into this.

*grin* Wonderful!!� *Grabs Zilly in the possible future roomie dance*

I think it�can be�a good idea to move for someone with the following conditions:

YOU want to move.

YOU remain YOU.

You have a "safety" plan, just in case.�

what would be a good saftey plan for moving to ohio?

Well, in a relationship, it can be very weird if things don't work out.� My sister, for example, followed her bf from CA to OR to have his baby.� She was far, far away from her entire family, had no friends except for his friends, didn't have a driver's license, didn't have a job....bad situation.� Multiply that times 20 when you throw in the fact that this SOB dumped her and expected her to hit the ground running, after he refused to provide anything for her for months....� *bitchslap*

But I digress.

A backup plan would involve things like knowing you have someone (or preferably several someoneS) who can either get you out or you can get to them at a moment's notice.� You need to know you have someplace to go if you HAVE to.

I was in Indiana after my house burned down in Alaska.� I felt so fucking TRAPPED because I had no where else to go or anyone to turn to.� If the relationship had soured, I would have been SCREWED.� It would have been better if I could CHOOSE to stay in the future mil's house - but I was trapped.� I hated it.

My advice, then, is to have a backup plan for just in case.

I think moving would be good for your mental health, it sounds like you'd be a lot happier being away from certain family members. Sometimes a little distance can be a LOT of help in making a family situation emotionally better for everyone involved.

I would suggest that if you move at this point, don't "move in with."

It might be simpler for you to find a sublet/roomate at first. That way, both people have emotional and physical personal space. (Which, face it, everyone needs no matter how good their relationship. People find it in different ways, and the purpose of living apart for a while is about haveing space to develop your common language.)

Even if you end up spending every night together, it's good to know that that's what you *wanted* to do, instead of *having* to.

You also have a small built-in support system, it sounds, which is good. :)

What she says makes a lot of sense to me.� You will have a wonderful support system out there in Ohio, just like I still have a good support system here with my sister and my cousin both living in Jersey.

It's enough to REALLY get plans together for a Ohio Fru-gathering, which is more and more becoming the Fruhead capital of the world, with Sea-Vac its second largest capital.

Obviously, I selfishly think it'd be great if you were here. :)

As for practicality, what's keeping you in Maine? And what's in Ohio that isn't in Maine, aside from the obvious? :) And is what you're looking for easier to find somewhere other than the two places?

As for Ohio, like Talcott said, Columbus kinda stinks. :) There are tons of jobs, but it's a very faceless big city. If you're thinking NW Ohio, it's that trio of towns that Talcott also mentioned. Toledo is a small city (100,000+) that's arguably grimy and lacking in charm, but is probably easiest to find work and cheap digs. Bowling Green is much smaller (20,000 townies and 20,000 college kids), and a lot more fun, cultural and artsy. There's a lot of cheap places to live, and employment is probably very easy to find ("What? You aren't a student? You won't leave us every summer? You're hired.") The downside the same as the upside: it's a college town. As for Findlay, since it's my "home town", I like it. Then again, it's a rich and conservative town. It's medium-sized (40,000). You'll probably find the best-paying jobs here, but the housing costs are higher overall (though it's improving).

Personally, I live in between Findlay and BG. Sara works in BG and I work from home, but neither of us wanted to live in town. Findlay is our home base for shopping and such. Toledo is where you drive to do the heavy-duty shopping.

Obviously let me know if you need to know anything. :)

See, I think Toledo has a lot of charm, much of it comming from the grime. It's still stuck in the 20s in a lot of ways. There are some areas of it I love (the old west end stands out), and there are a lot of good food places there.
Plus, Toledo has Frogtown books. I think it gets a lot of points from that alone :-D

back up plans: not yet formulated. I don't plan on moving in with talcott so its not as if I'd be stuck with him if it doesn't work out between us (that being said I think its highly unlikely that we wont work out). obviously before any moving plans GET exicuted Iwill have some kind of contingancy plan.

ohio thoughts: what's keeping you in Maine? comfort. its easy to stay in the place you're familiar with. I love the ocean. my friends. I'm a wuss. thing is: I'm sick of doing the easy comfortable thing when I could be happier somewhere else. my friends will be moving away in a year or two�anyway. eep! movie things to do brb... another cosideration is the crap job I have. there honestly isn't anythig else in maine but crapy jobs and expensive housing. the apartments in BG that talcott showed me cost as much as the apartment that I'm living in now, BUT the standard of pay is higher in ohio...

And what's in Ohio that isn't in Maine, aside from the obvious? thats just it. nothing out of the ordinary. I just kind of want to get out and ohio is just as good a place as any. also you have the big longerburger basket thingie, thats a big plus! ;-)

And is what you're looking for easier to find somewhere other than the two places? honestly? I dunno what I'm looking for. I don't know if its in ohio. what if what I'm looking for dosen't exsist at all? what if I'm not looking for anything, I'm just hoping to be happy somehwere.

its much easier to think things out here then in my head.

And what's in Ohio that isn't in Maine, aside from the obvious? thats just it. nothing out of the ordinary. I just kind of want to get out and ohio is just as good a place as any. also you have the big longerburger basket thingie, thats a big plus! ;-)
� What is a longerburger basket?

And is what you're looking for easier to find somewhere other than the two places? honestly? I dunno what I'm looking for. I don't know if its in ohio. what if what I'm looking for dosen't exsist at all? what if I'm not looking for anything, I'm just hoping to be happy somehwere.
� I totally understand.� I wonder if I'll ever find whatever it is I'm looking for, and wonder, because I don't know what I'm looking for, if I've already found it, and left it.

What is a longerburger basket?

colectable, highly fashonable in a country expressions kind of way, baskets. its a brand name. an institution in basketry. I know quite a few people who are obsessed with them in maine. "the big longerburger basket thingie" is this HUGE basket that is actually an office building where their home office is located. word.

I totally understand.� I wonder if I'll ever find whatever it is I'm looking for, and wonder, because I don't know what I'm looking for, if I've already found it, and left it.

I can't possibly already found it and left it because if that were the case it would be in the only other places I've lived: S. Paris with hippie parents down on the indipendant farm OR in Old Town maine with adam and the Indian reservation.... god help me if it was either of thoes.

I'd be a lot more coherant tonight if I had bothered to take my anti-depresants for the last two days. as it is I feel like I'm moving when I'm not, I'm nausiated and I can't seemt o stop wilting and crying. :-(

Sometimes the things we need to do for ourselves are the toughest things we will ever do.

I grew up in backwater Alaska.� The wide, open spaces were wonderful.� There was tons of snow.� The summers were awesome.� We lived off the land: hunted for moose, caribou and grouse.� We grew vegetables in our garden and froze them.� We picked berries all summer and froze them or turned them into jams/jellies.� Made homemade bread.� Chopped and burned local wood for heat.� Had well water.� Owned and USED a wringer-washer.� Raised goats so we'd have fresh milk.� Had chickens, ducks, geese, dogs and cats.

Do you know what the best thing I ever did was?

It was moving out of Alaska.� Moving far, far away.� I have no intentions of EVER going back.� Yes, some of my family is there and all of my childhood friends.� I grew up there - nearly 18 years of my life were spent in beautiful, wonderful Alaska.

Why was it the best thing?� I left behind a dead-end life.� My brother is heavily involved with drugs, as are the majority of the people I knew.� No one has a decent job, if indeed they have one.� No one has a car that runs.� No college degrees.� No plans for life.� I left behind the demons, too, for the most part: the man I worked for who tried repeatedly to feel me up, the neighbor who assaulted me when I was 9 years old, the school janitor who exposed himself to me, bulimia and more.

What did I gain when I left?� Self-respect.� I was proving I could DO it.� I could move and be on my own without my family telling me that I'd never accomplish anything.� I wasn't stuck there anymore.� The possibilities were...and still are... endless.

Do I miss it?� Hell yes.� I miss the pink sunsets through the iced trees.� I miss the bright, vivid Northern Lights while walking to the bus on cold, crisp mornings.� I miss listening to the sounds of nature, making sure I wasn't going to walk into my death by stepping between a Mama Moose and her calf.� I miss the smell of a swift Chinook blowing through.� I miss the smell of warm snow.� I miss the difference in moisture at 20 below and 40 below.� I miss skiing at zero degrees in shorts and a t-shirt.� I miss sleeping on the bus for the hour-long ride to school in the dark.� I miss hiding from the wind in snow banks while waiting for the bus to show up at 6 in the morning.

Was it worth it?� For me, yes.� Plain and simple.

mmmmalaska.

I feel the same way about maine. I love it but it houses a LOT of badness. a ton. very heavy badness.

I'd like� clean start. and lots of starr time. *silly grinny*

I dunno what I'm looking for. I don't know if its in ohio. what if what I'm looking for dosen't exsist at all? what if I'm not looking for anything, I'm just hoping to be happy somewhere.

And that's all that any of us can ask for. I had the best job in Vermont, but I couldn't find anyone nearby to connect with. Sure, it was beautiful, but I hated being in a town where everything closed by 9 except the bars. So, I decided to move out of my element, out of New England, and my only reason for moving to Seattle was that I had a support system here. I haven't regretted it, either.

It's about weighing your options, which you are doing quite sensibly. :)

*hugs* sanks for the advice.

thing is, I wish I could just pick up and move now. or better yet, yesterday, just so I wouldn't be here.any.more.

Once I quit worrying about our move, I was the same way.� I'm still in "To hell with boxes, let's just rent a truck and GO" mode.� The only real restraint I have is the our new place won't be open until Christmas.