never be happy.

Yeah, maybe you can never get the chemicals completely level. But you can work to get them not so whacked. And work on your emotional self as well because that does wonders for your chemicals and also even if you ge the drugs right you still have the emotional stuff. Just keep working and keep hoping. Or START hoping. :)

Anyway, doctors know a lot but they're far from always right.

that's such a load of bullshit on behalf of the doctor. what an insensitive prick. *growls* that so pisses me off

here's the pacho list of what must be tried before considering things hopeless, i've never never heard of anyone getting all these things together and not being happy:

• medication - dealing with the biological aspect of mental illness. you can't escape this with schizophrenia. you need some form of antipsychotic at the very least
• sleep - regular, restful sleep. i'm not sure what the recommended number is exactly, they usually suggest six hours for insomniacs, i'd say either
• exercise - specifically exercise of the lower legs, half-hour of cardiovascular exercise where the heart is kept at an elevated rate daily. walking is good for this. this helps the body naturally regulate dopamine, good for stress too
• reducing stressors - specifically the mentally/emotionally abusive parts of your family, work-related stress. you can never eliminate stressors entirely but getting it to a reasonable level
• a happier home life - either through an SO directly or with friends. an environment where you can feel welcome and loved
• the understanding that sadness is a part of happiness. for example, your brothers death will always upset you, i would never suggest that it shouldn't. it's whether the sadness is pervasive and overwhelming
• intimacy with a loving partner - emotionally/sexually/whatever. someone who knows you, is there for you and can shield you to some extent.

i feel like i'm ranting so i'm going to step back from this. your doctor is a fucking idiot. you deserve happiness, you will find happiness, don't give up. there is always hope. *hugs*