I don't understand

i think you should be you, uncensored and raw. why should you act differently for other people's benefit?

i don't think a person can be happy until they're honest about being sad. i'm not sure if that makes any sense ;)

because if I do then maybe they will want to be around me. I dunno... it hurts when your life long friends don't like to be near you.

thats unfair.and harsh of me. they enjoy my company but have a hard time with my depression.

Are you still seeing a counselor or therapist?� Have you considered group therapy?

Depression is complicated stuff.� Trusting the rest of the world to "understand" what's really going on may be a recipe for disaster.� I'm not a professional, obviously, so the best I can do is listen.� Which, btw, I'm willing to do.

There may be some truth to the "try to be happy" advice.� One thing that marriage counselors recommend for couples in trouble is that they clamp down on the negative things they say to each other: no name calling, no guilt tripping, etc.� It works, because they are retraining their feelings/minds/whatever to respect each other again.� Interesting idea, in any event.

It might help, too, to not categorize every thought or action as "good" or "bad" or "happy" or "depressing."� How that works, well, heck if I know.

Wish I had a real "answer" for you.� :/� But I don't.

no I'm not. I can't aford it... god I hate the united states sometimes.