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Poll: If you were going to torture someone with music, which genre would you use?

pop 7 (7%)
rap 20 (21%)
country 14 (15%)
opera 8 (8%)
jazz 1 (1%)
folk 5 (5%)
german techno 22 (23%)
heavy metal 8 (8%)
i am an insensitive clod, and don't care about your poll 10 (11%)
   Discussion: If you were going to torture someone with music, which genre would you use?
Sarah · 17 years, 11 months ago
I do care about the poll. just not torturing people.
meh · 17 years, 11 months ago

I voted in the not-caring department.


Because, really -- what music to use to torture someone depends on what they don't like, not on what I don't like.
And who wants to end up making their torture-ee happier?

I can see the bunny Back · 17 years, 11 months ago
"When I was growing up they said heavy metal was the music of the devil. Now I'm grown and I know the real music of the devil is new country." ~~ Danny Michel

:)
Lisa Kay · 17 years, 11 months ago
where's the endless hours of MTV option? It's such a great variety of mainstream shit!!

muahahahahahaha
beth-pseudocanuck! · 17 years, 11 months ago

ambient drone "noise art"...it's SO painful.

on a related "note" (hahahaha) -- has anyone heard about the "symphony no 2 for dot matrix printers" that was just released? it's by "the user". yes, it's real. yes, it's exactly what the title sounds like--dot matrix printers printing patterns that make "music"...it's actually kinda cool. and even cooler are the track names--stuff like "&&&&& %%% &&&&& . . . . . " lol i'm not kidding.

don't believe me? your canadian tax dollars at work.

A.J. · 17 years, 11 months ago
But only the avant-garde nonlistenable stuff. My other first choice was rap.
George E. Nowik Back · 17 years, 11 months ago

aj, if you were anywhere close to the pacific northwest, i'd bonk you one.

jazz as torture.  if i were killed with jazz, i'd die a happy death . (:

-= george =-

iPauley Back · 17 years, 11 months ago
*raises a glass* here here!!

-- Pauley
hkath Back · 17 years, 11 months ago

I don't think you guys know what that "avant-guarde non-listenable stuff" is that AJ's referencing, or you'd be agreeing with him. Here's a story.

At jazz camp, we had to attend a concert that two of the instructors gave. It was about two hours long. Most of it consisted of one of the guys leaning into a piano and whacking random strings with a hammer at random intervals, and I'm having trouble remembering what the other guy did, but it had something to do with creaking, possibly a long, sustained violin-string kind of creaking. There were also random sloppy notes on the trumpet, and some general thumping and banging of objects in the stage area. Those are two hours of my life I'll never get back, people!

The Dark God Tchernobog · 17 years, 11 months ago

Cuz I'm an ass. =P

danced with Lazlo · 17 years, 11 months ago
Country music has it's charms...

Burned that whole place to the ground along with that SHIT country sound!
Annika Back · 17 years, 11 months ago
lol, I agree. I chose country. BLEH! I tried to like it, but it kept doing things that pissed me off... like being there.
Adam Hartfield · 17 years, 11 months ago
Mrs. Elva Miller, The Del Rubio Triplets, Mary Schneider (Australia's Yodelling Queen)... the choices are many!
Agent Scully Back · 17 years, 11 months ago

NO!

NO!

NO!

Adam's torturing us already!!!!

Drea Back · 17 years, 11 months ago
*snicker* *shudder* Having heard two of the three Adam's listed.. The first two would torture anyone! Though it's funny watching someone else hearing them "sing" for the first time ;)
Shelly · 17 years, 11 months ago

well.  my -first- choice was rap.

 

then i realized that i, too would have to listen to it while dispensing it, so why would i wish to torture MYSELF, too.

though country would be good coz i like it and so many others don't.

then again, i could say the same for folk.

so.  yah.

my vote  ;)

carry on.

Gordondon son of Ethelred · 17 years, 11 months ago
Shouldn't the there have been an option, "I'm a sensitive clod that doesn't want to torture anyone you insensitive clod?"
Gordondon son of Ethelred · 17 years, 11 months ago
If the person is really evil I'd play Shanwrong. If the person was even more evil than that I'd sing myself. I'm not sure if anyone has ever been that evil.
Talcott · 17 years, 11 months ago

I can do techno in small bits, but after awhile, I just need to hear something unplugged. I was at a new years party in high school with some friends who were computer people to the point of only liking music if it was made on them. 12hrs of techno later, I got home and listened to EFO until the bass was out of my brain.

Rap (at least the more underground stuff) can have really good lyrics if you can make them out. A whole lot of it's overdone, and has the same bass problem as techno, but I tend to listen for lyrics over music a lot of the time.

I like older country a bit, and a lot of what's listed as "alternative" country is just folk by another name, so that's good. The radio stuff though, I can't stand.

Actually, I think that if I wanted to torture someone, I'd just put on top 40 radio. Even if the song of the week wasn't too bad, by the 1000th time it ran it would work just as well.

 

Michael (foof) Maki · 17 years, 11 months ago

Enhh.  It's muscal elitism like this that sometimes drives me nuts about fruheads.  I mean, lots of people act as though we're of one hive-mind about music, and all like the same things.

It is my considered opinion that all of the above genres of music have their place, and given the right circumstances I could enjoy and appreciate them all.

I mean, I don't own any polka CDs.  And I can't imagine a series of events that would lead to me buying any.  But, there's nothing better than going to the Polish bar on Friday Nights, and getting down to the Beer Barrel Polka.  It's all about time and place.

Snow In Summer Back · 17 years, 11 months ago

i have to agree. i've always thought that in general, i was a "bad fruhead" because i just don't like folk. i'll listen to anything with a good harmony and German techno (and what exactly is wrong with German or any other kind of techno, pary tell??) granted, i mock my boyfriend mercilessly for owning the "Smallville" soundtrack... but i like 2 songs out of the 12, and his CD collection has lots of albums i love but never bought.

i have a 5 year rule for music. the main point is: crap still sounds like crap after all the hype dies down. good music still sounds good after 5 years no matter the genre.

nate... Back · 17 years, 11 months ago
Bravo. All the music I've ever liked, I still really like.... which is why I still own all the albums I've ever bought. :) And, I am not a fan of folk, generally, either... so you're not alone. hehe
A girl named Becca Back · 17 years, 11 months ago
Well, yeah, but you're still a musical elitist.  :P
lawrence · 17 years, 11 months ago
she's the lead "singer" (I say "singer" because she has a range of about 2 notes and doesn't often hit those right) of a really horrendous band from New York called The Moldy Peaches, and for some reason, TMBG really like them and her, and have had either the full band or just her open for them on multiple occasions.

those of you who know who I'm talking about will understand. those who don't, there's really no good way to describe how bad this so-called music is. just be glad you haven't had to put up with it FOUR TIMES.

if that isn't torture, I don't know what is.
nate... · 17 years, 11 months ago

Nuff said.

*shudder*

 

lawrence Back · 17 years, 11 months ago
well, then, I'm willing to be tortured any time. :)
John J. Ryan Back · 17 years, 11 months ago
Nah, too easy.
ShrinkMan Back · 17 years, 11 months ago
Hey Nate... I knew I could count on you to include "The Squealeds" in a poll on torture soundtracks! Now that there is just the two sisters, it is like listening to fingernails on a chalk board!
nate... Back · 17 years, 11 months ago
Yeah, at least with the daves, there was an element of talent involved. :)
John J. Ryan · 17 years, 11 months ago

Country and Western.

emilie is CRANKY · 17 years, 11 months ago

i can torture pretty much anyone over here with fruvous or DVN. :D i don't know what it is about british music tastes but it seems that there are two extremes (bad mainstream pop and bad metal/grunge/punk variants) and nothing in between. most people wouldn't have a clue what a cappella is, and when i say i'm into 'north american folk rock and barbershop' people just piss themselves...

...please, please someone rescue me from this evil country :D

Gordondon son of Ethelred Back · 17 years, 11 months ago
Well barbershop is trying to take over the world. We all need to heed DVN's call and stop it before it becomes too powerful. Think we can get a UN resolution on it?
Bel kjfdxcvuyjh8 · 17 years, 11 months ago
the funniest thing is German heavy metal...I don't have a clue what they're saying, but this one Rammstein song starts with the guy counting in German. This guy has a crazy voice and German numbers are kinda freaky, so it's...um... Anyway I picked opera. My grandpa relly likes it, and it's horrible... Country is what I first thought of when I read the title of the poll, but then I saw there was an "opera" option.

And why do so many people hate rap? I guess most rappers suck, but there are some good ones.
Sarah Back · 17 years, 11 months ago
"German Techno" just sounds bad. I've never heard it but if someone said they were bringing over a CD with German Techno I would be out the door before they could finish talking. Sarah
emilie is CRANKY Back · 17 years, 11 months ago
when i was a kid i lived downstairs from this german kid, and i used to go up to play on his nintendo. he had this german heavy metal tape that had this song on it - it was blatantly a german folk song, and it started off with just one singer and an acoustic guitar, and then got higher and higher in pitch and louder and louder, until the whole band ended up smashing their stuff up on stage. my friend loved the song and played it over and over. i can still remember the tune today. i wish i had a copy of it :D
Drea · 17 years, 11 months ago
Would be my choice - failing that, opera (which I don't mind listening to but would probably drive a lot of people crazy *g*)
Rachel Beck · 17 years, 11 months ago
I can't really think of a single genre in which I dislike everything. I used to think I hated country, but that's because I thought country was radio country and not Hank Williams, Bill Monroe, Lucinda Williams, Ryan Adams, et al. I used to think I hated metal, but I think Metallica is really smart and lyric-driven --at least by spells-- and I like Rage against the Machine. Yeah, top 40 is dopey, but I enjoy dancing to at least some of it. Ditto for techno (though I prefer the Greek variety to the German). And I used to stay as far away as possible from opera, but then I started studying and singing it, and it's grown on me.

Here's an idea: what about bad covers of good songs? Like muzak versions of Beatles or Nirvana? I think that would be a small slice of hell.

We should thank our lucky stars Fruvous never caught on in corporate U.S.-- we'll never have to hear crappy string arrangements of "The Greatest Man in America" in elevators.
lawrence Back · 17 years, 11 months ago
bad covers of good songs? three words: American Pie, Madonna. gag me with a smurf.
Talcott Back · 17 years, 11 months ago

"Here's an idea: what about bad covers of good songs? Like muzak versions of Beatles or Nirvana? I think that would be a small slice of hell".

See, I love to hear the new wave of 90s musak. There's something oddly amusing about No Doubt, played in MIDI form, at my local Ben Franklin store.

Gordondon son of Ethelred Back · 17 years, 11 months ago
You made one of my favorite points. I used to say I hate country too. The problem is all I heard was corporate country like Garth Brooks. Some alt country is amazing. Bob Dylan calls Hank Williams the greatest songwriter ever and who am I to disagree? My country CD collection isn't large, right now it's Hank and Lucinda Williams, Luthor Wright and the Wrongs, and Slaid Cleaves. Slaid says he isn't country but he writes about losing woman and fixing cars, if that isn't country what is? You haven't lived till you've heard Luthor Wright and the Wrongs version of Pink Floyd's The Wall. They covered the entire album as bluegrass.
Brian Dinsky · 17 years, 11 months ago
You mean there isn't a section for Tall New Buildings?  I mean, uhh, LOOK BEHIND YOU!  A THREE HEADED MONKEY!
Eri · 17 years, 11 months ago
is appropriate, given the topics of discussion. Go forth and read!

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