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Poll: Whats the lousiest reason you've been given for being rejected?

I'm just.. "not dating" right now 9 (11%)
Let's just be friends 14 (17%)
You're more of a sister/brother to me 11 (13%)
It's against my religion 3 (4%)
I've got too many things going on right now 6 (7%)
I prefer my own sex 4 (5%)
You're ugly 4 (5%)
I'm already taken 3 (4%)
Some other sinister quip 28 (34%)
   Discussion: Whats the lousiest reason you've been given for being rejected?
hkath · 17 years ago
I've never really been in the position to receive that kind of quip.
Andrea Krause Back · 17 years ago

I can't recall being "rejected" in order to receive one. I tend not to put myself out there unless I'm really damn sure the feelings are mutual. I mean, yeah there have been plenty of people I've wanted but not been able to be with, but in those situations I didn't even try because I knew it wasn't gonna happen.

Talcott Back · 17 years ago
Yeah. A combination of being shy and unable to notice basic signals has kept me from many situations where I could be rejected.

A.J. Back · 17 years ago
Yeah, all of the above 3 for me as well, pretty much. Back in college I got myself totally enfatuated with a woman and finally finally told her. The response was more or less on the level of "let's just be friends" but it wasn't a quip, so I am not sure that counts.
dirty life & times · 17 years ago
the worst rejection i ever got boiled down to, "you responded to my advances & therefore you are too big of a slut for me."
sheryls Back · 17 years ago

oh, nice!

f'in hypocrites :D

dirty life & times Back · 17 years ago
well, yes.

it was, of course, soon clear that rejecting me was the nicest thing he ever did for me :)
Samantha · 17 years ago
I just recently got the "I'm not dating right now" quip... however, I think he's coming around.. he told my sister's boyfriend today he wouldn't mind being my sex-slave...

I can work with that!
Jillian Bird · 17 years ago
I tried to date a really religious guy (who was also a very nice, good looking polite chap). He took me to a dance at his church. At the end of the evening, I asked for a goodnight kiss and he ran out of the room and vomited.
Jillian Bird Back · 17 years ago

My fiance ryan just gave me the green light to share his worst dumping reason:

"I'm leaving you to marry my stalker who just bought me a house"

When I say stalker, i don't mean he-calls-a-lot-and-is-annoying.  I mean video-cameras-in-the-car-and-following-to-class-everyday-even-though-he-doesn't-go-to-this-university.

Laura P. Back · 17 years ago

I asked for a goodnight kiss and he ran out of the room and vomited.

If he is realy sheltered it was probably just nerves. I had a boyfriend who did that all the time, but eventually he stopped. It was a little akward for a while, though.

danced with Lazlo Back · 17 years ago
"Hi Stan!"

"*vomits*"

"Ewwww!"
K-Lyn · 17 years ago
Still not sure from what...

But usually I find myself on the rejector side. I guess that's a good thing? ? ?

Dating sucks!
tibbar · 17 years ago
I got told all at once her parents felt that she was too young, it would be a distraction from school and church, I was too much like a brother and we should just be friends her father was coming home soon and to cap it all off she slamed the door in my face. That took a while to get over since it was the first time I ever asked a girl out.
ChrisChin is Getting Old · 17 years ago
Hrmm...I have gotten the "I'm not dating right now" quip, but it wasn't the lousiest. The worst rejection for me is a variation of the friends thing and goes something like this:

"I thought about it for a long time this past week, and I just don't see this working out between the two of us us in the future and I don't want to be bogged down by this while in school, so let's just be friends" uh..wtff?
Rimbo · 17 years ago
Once someone told me they "love me" but they weren't "in love with me." It's still hard to see him on the wall every day. MICHAEL MAKI, WHY WON'T YOU LOVE ME?!?!?

:)
I think I need to spend more time with my wife.
Andrea Krause Back · 17 years ago

He's a cold bastard, that Michael.

Zach Back · 17 years ago
Yeah, he gave me the same line. Foof. What a jerk. ;-)
Michael (foof) Maki Back · 17 years ago
I am tricksy and false.
Shelly Back · 17 years ago
you fickle bitch, bro  ;)
renita Back · 17 years ago
that's funny because he told ME that he's "in love with me" but he doesn't "love me"

*sigh*
goovie is married! Back · 17 years ago
and he's just using me for my body, apparently.
Rimbo Back · 17 years ago
Sounds like we all need to unite against Michael's manipulative ways!  . . . Aww, we can't stay mad at him.
Starfox · 17 years ago
Well, I most often had gotten "I'm just not interested in you like that" type crap. Once though, I was actually told the reason was that I was ugly. She phrased it as "I'm not physically attracted to you in the least", which somehow made it worse, not better.

I can look back on it all now and laugh now that I'm married to a super beautiful woman.
zil · 17 years ago

I have had more rejections than I have freckles. the worst was telling me that he didn't want to date me because I don't look like julia stiles. .... riiiight.

and I only date guys who look like Hugh Jackman, I'll be over here dying cold and alone.

Rimbo Back · 17 years ago
Suck.  At least he didn't dump you because you DID look like Julia Stiles.  That wouldn't make much sense.
Misch Back · 17 years ago
the worst was telling me that he didn't want to date me because I don't look like julia stiles

At least you weren't told you look like Ryan Stiles
renita Back · 17 years ago
dood.

ryan stiles is teh sexy.

so. there.

spoken on behalf of all those who dig tall lanky funny geek boys
Michael (foof) Maki Back · 17 years ago
Represent. :-)
ellen, formerly evil Back · 17 years ago
yay tall lanky funny geek boys! :D
Samantha Back · 17 years ago
I'll vouch for that one too... 'specially considering I'm trying to capture the attention of one at the present... *rawr*
Kris 'engaged' Bedient Back · 17 years ago
tall lanky funny geek boys are teh best, especially when they are also amazingly sweet, like the one I am aiming for.
Talcott Back · 17 years ago
How about just fuzzy enough to be Hugh Jackman?
Alan Mendelsohn · 17 years ago
"I can't be your friend. I'm your *teacher*." um... yeah. *runs*
goovie is married! Back · 17 years ago
dwd. was that a superhero or a penguin?
Alan Mendelsohn Back · 17 years ago
dwd, neither. It was a mid-penguin-pre-superhero high school thing. Curse my rotten luck!
Gordondon son of Ethelred Back · 17 years ago
No fair, I never get to say that.
Alan Mendelsohn Back · 17 years ago
That's because you were never *my* professor.
Gordondon son of Ethelred Back · 17 years ago
I knew I should have applied for that opening at CoNDoM. A three an a half hour commute each way isn't that bad right?
Will work for anime · 17 years ago
..."I'm leaving you for my ex-girlfrined who is pregnant with someone else's child."

ouch
Misch Back · 17 years ago
You win!
renita · 17 years ago
i've never been rejected because i've never really put myself out there...

but i have delivered the following

"i'm just "not dating" right now" which was true, and i think that's a valid reason, i was NOT in a place to develop anything that could have been a healthy relationship, realized this and acted accordingly. i have never regreted it.

"i'm taken." if that the worst let down you've received, power to you. further more i DO NOT see that as a lousy reason, i can think the world of you, bu tthat doesn' tmean that i want to leave my significant other, and if you think that's a lousy reason, well, shame on you for wanting to interfere in someone else's happiness.

"i've got too many things going on right now" though that was a part of the "just not dating" reason. and frankly, why would you want to start dating someone knowin gthat they didn't have the time to spend on developing a good relationship?


dirty life & times Back · 17 years ago
among those, i have delivered the "i've got too many things going on/i'm too busy right now."

to which the fellow in question replied, "but i am much more busy than you!"

to which i had no response but, "touche. i just don't want to date you."
Gordondon son of Ethelred · 17 years ago
"I wouldn't date someone I met on the Internet. She then proceeded to join internet dating services.

The truth is most reasons are going to make you feel bad, the rejection is what matters not the reason. The only exceptions are, things like "I"m married" or "I'm gay/straight" which make it not a rejection of you as a person. Of course you would probably know those things before you ask.
Michael (foof) Maki Back · 17 years ago
One of my problems is that I interpret everything as a rejection of me as a person.

Great big ball of neurosis, I am...
Gordondon son of Ethelred Back · 17 years ago
That isn't neurotic, in your case everything is a rejection of you as a person. Now don't you feel better? J
Michael (foof) Maki Back · 17 years ago
Heh. Gordon, always in with the practical advice. :-)
renita Back · 17 years ago
but other things can also make it not a rejection of you as a person.

for instance, when i was not into a relationship... it wouldn't have mattered who the hell asked me out, it wouldn't have happened.

funny. but my not wanting to date was about ME and not the OTHER person.
Michael (foof) Maki Back · 17 years ago
Narcissist. ;-D

Yeah. I can process intellectually that if someone is straight or married or involved, or generally fUx0red up, that he wouldn't want to date me.

But emotionally, that just comes way too close to the "Mommy don't you love me" energy to not get wrapped up in it.
renita Back · 17 years ago
i understand that, i was mostly objecting to the following comment:"The only exceptions are, things like "I"m married" or "I'm gay/straight" which make it not a rejection of you as a person. "

Mamalissa! · 17 years ago
So there was this guy who was always hanging out in our house, and he really seemed into me. I mean, always over, flirting, having fun.

So, for his birthday, I bought a card that had two ants in togas on the cover - the inside said "For you Birthday, how about a little Rome Ants?" And I wrote "I just wanted to see if we're on the same wavelength."

Turns out we so were not. He'd been secretly dating my housemate for a while, which was both why he was over all the time, and why he didn't seem to pay any attention to her at all. Worse, a couple outher housemates knew (and knew about the card before I gave it to him), but didn't say anything.

They're married now.
Rimbo Back · 17 years ago
Suck.  Well, that's what you get for taking any sort of emotional risk, I guess.  Never do that.  Perhaps from now on you'll do what I do and push those feelings deep deep down inside of you until they're so far down, you're walking on them!  That's my motto -- "None a' yer beeswax how I feel! ©"
Misch · 17 years ago
Other ones that didn't make the list:

"Because I'm your sister!"
"Won't Dad get jealous?"
"I don't want to get married, I just want to siiing!"
Ligeia Lester · 17 years ago
"I've never been rejected, you insensitive clod!"
jen Back · 17 years ago

ya what ever happened to that option? i was thinking ive never been rejected but then it hit me, i was once.... it was an old crush who came back into my life, and i put myself out there by saying "so what would you think if i said i was still interested?" i cant remember the exacts, but it was something like "im not dating right now, but trust me, if i was, you'd be first choice". then he kissed me on the cheek.

not bad for my only rejection, methinks :)

jen

Doktor Pepski, kommie · 17 years ago
really the only reason I have ever been given, seeing as I do not think that the opposite sex even considers me to be a sexual being. oh well bah.:(
danced with Lazlo · 17 years ago
You're not pretty, you're buff!"
danced with Lazlo · 17 years ago
What about "I prefer the opposite sex" you insensitive clod?!

Some others:

"I thought of dating you, but then I got to know you"
"I thought you were going to be like your sister"
"I decided that it would be unhealthy for you to date me"

And of course

"You're too young."
Shelly · 17 years ago
is -clearly- what i must be because i have gotten that line more times than i have any other. heh. buck up, me!!! i friend the BEST!!!   :P
Magical Bob · 17 years ago

The first time I nearly asked someone out, they shot me down before I could ask. A friend mentioned that a girl liked me, so I asked her, thinking he was just being a jerk. I was still hopeful though. She said, "Nah, just friends." Of course, we weren't even friends.  Not really that sad but kinda mad at my friend.

I've had to use break-up lines only twice. The first time, I was actually not ready to start dating. I told her so. Worked out okay. Never actually saw the person face-to-face at anytime during our relationship, but hey, who's checking? The other time I said the same thing, after a miserable date with a girl. Barely saw her then either. Both in the same year. Both the only real "relationships" I had been in until recently.

Now, I'm in a great relationship with no problems on the horizon, so I don't plan on hearing any of those lines or saying them any time soon.

Gordondon son of Ethelred · 17 years ago
I once had a marriage proposal rejected. What made it interesting is that I never proposed and the thought had never even entered my head. It was a preemptive rejection. Sort of an extention of the Bush Doctrine.
ellen, formerly evil Back · 17 years ago
A Particular Friend and I have preemtively co-rejected each other. It's quite a lot of fun. 8)
A.J. Back · 17 years ago
That boggels my mind. It seems like in order to co-reject, there would have to be a lot of attraction. Otherwise how would you notice enough to co-reject?
ellen, formerly evil Back · 17 years ago
How about a lot of percieved attraction from other parties? If everyone ELSE thinks you're a couple because you're just really close friends whose silliness can be reinterpreted as flirting? That's how we noticed enough to co-reject. :)
A.J. Back · 17 years ago
Heh. Do you play it up for the benefit of all the spectators? Lying is fun. ;)
danced with Lazlo Back · 17 years ago
Gordon keeps telling me who I'm going to marry and I keep rejecting him... but I don't reject him to him, because he doesn't want to marry me either... I just have to keep rejecting him to Gordon. It's really quite fucked up
Gordondon son of Ethelred · 17 years ago
Not quite on topic but related. Christine Lavin has a song that is nothing but unwanted responses to saying "I love you."

My best was.
Me: I love you
Her: That cake looks really good.
goovie is married! Back · 17 years ago
but...but...the cake *did* look really good.

mmm...cake.
Gordondon son of Ethelred Back · 17 years ago
but...but... wasn't that like the day after my birthday?
goovie is married! Back · 17 years ago
no, it was the day after *my* birthday.

you didn't even buy me cake for my birthday.

and you expected an "i love you"?

ha.
John J. Ryan · 17 years ago
(To the tune of Be aggresive, B-E-Aggressive)

I'm pathetic, I'm so pathetic!
I'm pathetic, I'm so pathetic!
I don't see you in that way,
I only wanna be friends
I'm dating someone else, or
I'M A LESBIAN!
Josh Woodward Back · 17 years ago
Hah.. it never struck me that "B-E Aggressive" might be a real cheer. I always thought it was part of a Faith No More song, which puzzled me coming from you ;)
nate... Back · 17 years ago
Same here!
:D
renita · 17 years ago
if you try to pick someone up... and you know that they're away from home for a "study-away-year"

and they respond, "no i'm involved with someone back home."

DO NOT try to change their mind with the brilliant, "Well, do you REALLY think that your boyfriend(girlfriend) is being faithful to you?" comment.

This does. not. work.
A girl named Becca Back · 17 years ago
My (female) German roommate while I was abroad found that the best way to keep the Spaniards at bay was not to tell them "I have a boyfriend at home" (which was true), but to say "I have a girlfriend" and kiss me on the cheek if I was nearby. :) The significant-other-back-home thing is often an insufficient excuse because, a) there's that whole out of sight, out of mind kind of thing you're talking about and b) a lot of times there's the "well guys/girls where you come from don't know anything, let me show you why my country's better" sort of attitude. (Fortunately I look too close to Spanish to have been much in demand there. The blond Germans, though, they were a novelty.)
goovie is married! · 17 years ago
i've never actually asked anyone out. but i've been rejected for being ugly a million times without even trying.

la.
A.J. Back · 17 years ago
Cute, Smart, RED hair. What is wrong with those people? Ignoring the fact that we're both in relationships, consider yourself asked out. You are so far from ugly the notion is comical.
goovie is married! Back · 17 years ago
awww, shucks. :) but you have to remember, i come from redneck land, where i was feared and mistrusted cos i didn't look like anyone else *cough*cos i wasn't inbred*cough*.
zil · 17 years ago

"Not Coming Home"
maroon 5


When you refuse me
You confuse me
What makes you think I'll let you in again
Think again my friend
Go on misuse me and abuse me
I'll come out stronger in the end

And does it make you sad
To find yourself alone
And does it make you mad
To find that I have grown
I'll bet it hurts so bad
To see the strength that I have shown

When you answer the door pick up the phone
You wont find me cause I'm not coming home

You do not know how much this hurts me
To say these things that I don't want to say
But have to say them anyway
I would do anything to end your suffering
But you would rather walk away

[x2]
And does it make you sad
To find yourself alone
And does it make you mad
To find that I have grown
I'll bet it hurts so bad
To see the strength that I have shown
When you answer the door pick up the phone
You wont find me cause I'm not coming home

[x2]
When you answer the door pick up the phone
You wont find me cause I'm not coming home



Rimbo · 17 years ago
How about the BEST reasons for being rejected? Such as:

1. I'm allergic to you!
2. Because you keep poking me in the eye!
3. You tried to run over my parents!
4. When you listed "flatulence" as a hobby, I thought you were kidding!
meh · 17 years ago
After much other stilted rambling, he concluded with, "So... consider yourself mocked."

We stayed friends.
Then we did end up dating like two years later.

Of course, he's also the one who dumped me on an Easter Sunday, essentially over the phone. "Just so this isn't a surprise later, I think we should go back to being just friends."

*chuckle*
Kris 'engaged' Bedient · 17 years ago

I've not ever really been dumped, the relationships all just kinda fizzled, and it was obvious to both of us, and we just kinda moved on. But the one time there was a firm break, he had heard false stories that I had no chancee to refute, had a job more important than I was, and told me to move out. I was way too emotional to remember it, but it was a full rejection of me as a person. And then I attempted...but that's another story (yay, emotional dependance!).

I don't think it technically qualifies as being "dumped" though. Maybe it's just my connotation, but I think of being dumped as being before a relationship gets going, and not at the end of something that has already been going.

Annika · 17 years ago
I actually haven't ever been turned down when I was seriously asking someone if they wanted to date. No no no, I get the rejection after spending a few months with them, trying hard not to do my usual "Ack! Relationship! Run!" thing. Which makes me all the more bitter because... well.. damn it, I'm supposed to be the one leaving, not them!

My worst rejections (because I'm an asshole I have more than one) -

1. I'm sorry, I really can't stand you.

2. You need to bathe, I'm really not into the Kurt Cobain smell for men.

3. My sister doesn't want to date you anymore, I'm sorry, I like you... you know.. as a person. (this is over the phone to 2 or 3 of my sisters ex's)

4. I'm dating your sister, I can't date you (that happened with my ex-g/f Tesha's brother Ezra)

And perhaps the worst -

5. You know why. (walk away before they can ask, and you don't have to come up with reason)

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